Is It A Good Idea To Sleep With My Friend?
We’ve all heard about the familiar concept of the “friend zone”, that area a person can reach with an acquaintance where the friendship has become too strong to jeopardize with a meaningless tryst. But what happens when we decide to throw caution to the wind and leap into the sheets with a good friend and is it a good idea to do so?
As with anything else in life, there is not a one size fits all answer to the question. A person will have to decide for themselves if the concept is a good idea or not. There are certain instances where a person should not sleep with a close friend while there are others where the concept makes too much sense to be ignored.
For example, let’s say that the friend you are considering sleeping with is someone who you regularly spend time with as a part of a larger group dynamic. As time has gone on, you’ve developed a deeper attraction to them and you’d like to explore the connection further. However, two friends who are a part of a larger whole must take a moment to consider the consequences of these actions.
If the friends sleep together and a relationship blossoms, then there is no problem. On the flip side, if they were to sleep together and the experience is less than satisfactory, this could lead to tension within the group, as the two friends decide that they can no longer spend time together in the same setting.
At that point, the rest of the group is forced to make a decision about which friend they are going to choose to hang out with going forward and the resulting awkwardness may even cause everyone to decide to go their separate ways, instead of dealing with the resulting drama.
It is probably best to avoid sleeping with one another in this sort of situation, unless both parties are able to control their emotions. In certain instances, the friends could decide to pursue their feelings in a more clandestine way, so that their friends are spared any sort of awkwardness. When each party can put their emotions to the side, it is possible to sleep with a friend, without destroying a carefully cultivated group dynamic.
Conversely, if the friend is someone that you know through work or a hobby that you pursue in your spare time, someone that has very little overlap with the rest of your day to day existence, it is much easier to test the waters. Should the connection turn sour, both parties are able to walk away from each other with very little muss or fuss.
Sleeping with a friend is something that should never take place without a serious conversation about the motives of each person beforehand. While some people are able to maintain connections with others that are merely physical, the other person could be hoping for something much more meaningful. That’s why sleeping with a friend can be especially dangerous. One person may simply find the other attractive and be able to compartmentalize the situation, as the other starts to fall in love and develop feelings of greater intensity as time goes on.
As long as each side is in agreement about what it all means and is willing to acknowledge the fact that the decision may end up blowing up in their faces, friends can sleep together. In some instances, it may even be the best idea of all.
You often hear people say that they could never become intimate with someone, because “we are too close” or “I love them like a brother or sister”. What these people do not realize is that friendship and spending time together platonically compromises a large percentage of any meaningful long-term relationship.
If you’ve already built a friendship with someone of the opposite sex that has been able to last the test of time, this could be a sign that you are compatible from a relationship standpoint. The vast majority of a couple’s time together is spent hanging out, watching television and shooting the breeze anyway. When you have that sort of easygoing connection with a person of the opposite sex and both parties are mature enough to understand the ramifications of going further, it can be a good idea to sleep with a friend. You just may end up finding out that the man or woman of your dreams was sitting under your nose the whole time. You may even wish that you had pursued a deeper connection with them much sooner.
The decision has to be taken on a case by case basis and deep down, we know which of our friends could handle that sort of arrangement and which ones could not. We know when it is a good idea and when we should avoid the concept altogether. If you have any doubt as to whether the person’s feelings are reciprocal or whether they would be willing to either keep it casual or embark on a true relationship, it can be best to keep your feelings to yourself.
On the other hand, sleeping with a friend might be one of the best decisions that you ever make, allowing you to discover a strong sense of physical compatibility with someone who you may have never seen in that light before. Life has a way of throwing us interesting curves from time to time and sleeping with a friend can either be the greatest choice you ever make or end up being one of the worst.
Before making a decision of this magnitude, have an honest discussion with both the other person and yourself. If your actions will affect the happiness of other people in your lives, it may be best to tread lightly. Take this step only when you are moving in concert, or else it could be more trouble than it is worth.